the HeART of the CLOSE: What Sales Coaching is Not

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Let me start by talking about what coaching isn’t.  Coaching is not telling.  It is not teaching, not training, and not even mentoring. When you tell something to someone, you deliver sound and the listener probably hears it. Does he accept, understand, and act upon it? Only he will know and only he can say.

Coaching is not teaching. Teaching is when your listener doesn’t know the subject or the skill at hand as well as you do, and so you explain and maybe demonstrate. In this case you need to know the subject at hand much better and deeper than your listener or student.

Coaching is not training. Training is when you facilitate the learning of a skill; say biking or using Microsoft Excel. You can be referred to as a “coach” but you’re not truly coaching in the real sense.

Coaching is not mentoring. Mentor is the name of a man in whose care Telemachus, the son of King Ulysses of Ithaca was put under.  Ulysses (also known as Odysseus in Greek) asked Mentor to look after his son when we went off to fight the legendary Trojan Wars which lasted 20 years.  Apparently, Mentor did such a good job of caring for Telemachus that the word “mentor” moved into the language as the name for a person who teaches principles and practices to his pupil and protégé. Thus, you mentor someone also when you are better than him in specific  subjects and skills.

To be a coach or to coach someone, you do not have to necessarily be better than the person you are coaching in that specific skill set. To coach is to evoke and to facilitate the unlocking of innate potential in the person you are coaching.

The professions that come closest to coaching might be a combination of doctor, counsellor, and guide. Yet these three are not quite coaching because they somehow prescribe and indoctrinate.

Coaching provides context but no content. Coaching provides the framework but doesn’t provide any principles to the one being coached. Coaching only challenges assumptions, unearths desires and strengths and then maybe co-designs a strategy to achieve those desires and optimize those strengths. A coach helps sets goals and then watches you while you execute and achieve them. There are thousands of definitions of coaching and thousands of principles for practicing coaching.

To establish a clear understanding of coaching let me, again take you back a few hundred years in time to Italy and modern day Rome.

In Florence, Italy, a young sculptor was commissioned to do a statue of a well-loved Biblical character out of a discarded Carrara marble piece. It was a project nobody wanted to be part of. Many other sculptors said the piece of marble was rotten, porous and scarred. None of them wanted to be associated with such work lest their names and honor be tainted.

Young Michelangelo, as he approached and circled the stained and scarred rock, paid little attention to the rumors or the damaged external conditions of the rock. His eyes and his heart saw only the beauty and elegance that lay hidden inside the rock. He imagined what the rock could become when all the unnecessary parts were chipped away by his skilled and caring hands. After many days and nights and months of laboring with love and chipping away the unnecessary from the rock, artist Michelangelo succeeded in unearthing and bringing to life the amazingly beautiful statue of David.  It still stands tall and proud at the Galleria dell’ Accademia as a homage to an artist –a coach who saw beauty, brilliance and potential in a piece of discarded rock.

the HeART of the CLOSE by Raju Mandhyan

the HeART of the CLOSE by Raju Mandhyan

That, essentially, is the heart of coaching. It is the art and science of seeing something powerful inside of others and then carefully, lovingly and scientifically releasing and unleashing that potential.  To be a coach is to be an awakener of sorts. To be a coach is to be an almost invisible, non-interfering guide by the side of your salesperson. Yes, that is coaching!

 

Taken from my upcoming book, the HeART of the CLOSE.

Find more insights like this one in my other books on Amazon

Connect with me on Facebook/Raju Mandhyan

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Storytelling Legacies of Leaders

In the mid-1930s India, a spritely old man wrapped up in loincloth spoke of freedom, compassion, and peace.  Mahatma Gandhi carried a big stick, marched across the nation to pick up a fistful of salt by the ocean, and eventually liberated the country. He spoke to his people through painted visions and he touched hearts through parables of possibilities, “Change,” he said “must come from the inside. We must become that change.”

Connect, Engage and Influence your World Creatively!

A few decades later in America, another visionary stepped on the podium and shortly after, set aside the text of his prepared remarks to improvise.   Addressing a crowd of many thousands, he declared his dream—people from all corners of the country, from all walks of life, children of all races living together as one “to turn the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.” He announced his vision to the world to change a nation.

In the early 1980s in the Philippines, a journalist-turned-statesman chose to stand up against tyranny.  Amid the toughest of odds, he flew home, stepped off the plane, and walked into the waiting jaws of death.  This act of courage gave life to a story that inspired millions to act.  Fired by his example and call of, “The Filipino is worth dying for!” the first ever people power revolution produced a peaceful transfer of leadership and changed the country’s future. People power became a global model for bringing about change at the country level.

In comparison to the last 20 years, the rate of progress and the proliferation of information and technology have been exponential and show no signs of plateauing.  How people will regulate and sustain life stories in the future is unimaginable.  The stories of today are flourished in diverse formats. They are told and retold to sound and music, in dance, in art, in words, in moving images, all in bytes and pixels.  Stories travel, morph and multiply at the speed of light with a cursory glance and the touch of a fingertip.

Will this explosion of knowledge and ideas through technology ever change the concept and the heart of telling stories? The answer is a flat out no!

Here’s why:

  • Wherever they may sit, leaders enhance their credibility and authenticity through storytelling to spark the change they seek. Storytelling does much, merely by advocating and counter-advocating propositional debate, which leads to increased discussions.
  • Storytelling is focused on the future. It is not just an extrapolation of the present. It swirls emergent, new phenomena and nourishes it by downplaying the doubts and misconceptions of yesterday.
  • Stories are about human empowerment and real transformations in organizations. Stories are about humanity. Stories are about us transforming into a better us. Stories are about us wanting to know who we are and about us wanting to reach for the stars.

A story is like mist that develops on the outside, but the wisdom emerges from the inside. When a story touches our hearts, it takes hold of us forever and silently sets us free. This is a never ending journey.  It is also a never ending symphony. As long as this quest exists, stories will always fuel and fire us. And, since this is a never ending quest, we will always be leading ourselves and others happily into the ever after through stories.

That is the HeART of stories.

Drawn from the book, the HeART of STORY on Amazon.

 

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Ego and the Appreciative Self

Among the many theories and recommended global best practices in leadership, none stands out more than the universal consensus builder and conversation starter that goes:  “self-knowledge and self-management is foremost before anything else.” Of the numerous descriptions of leadership, let’s talk about that which describes leadership as being a catalyst for creating positive and progressive change.

Tales and Techniques to a Creatively Funnier you at Work and at Home.

Let’s then narrow down our focus to what a leader needs to do in order to be able to create, catalyze and champion change.  It would go without saying that to create change a leader must know (1) where he stands and (2) where he wants to go, bringing others along others with him.

How does a leader know where she stands?  She needs to have clear knowledge, deep understanding, and calm acceptance of exactly who she is, what she wants, and what she intends to accomplish in her sphere of influence in the world.

The tricky thing about intentions though is the fact that they are intricately tied to self-perception and ideas of who we are. This narrow, intertwined niche is where the probability exists for our assumptions to go wrong. Here, in this sliver of creative space, is where who we really are clashes with our overblown assumptions of who we think we are. Let’s consider this anomaly of true self versus overblown perception of self from the Eastern philosophical perspectives. Side stepping a bit from Sigmund Freud’s theory of the ID and the Superego, let’s simply refer to it as Ego or our own distorted view of ourselves.

In the course of leading, driving change, and living up to our fullest potential, this misrepresentation or Ego does get in the way not only of what we intend to create in the long-term but also in our interactions in day-to-day living. It can stonewall us just as Walt Kelly’s hero, Pogo, once claimed, “I have found the enemy and they are us!” It can side-track us just as a wise old man once said, “If not for me, there I go!”

Thus, hurdles to progress and innovation constantly appear and surface within the change initiatives of an organization or an individual. They arise mostly from a false, distorted perception of the self.

In the early-to-mid-1980s I had traveled around the world to sell and promote Philippine-made apparels and textiles.  On my first few sales trips to the Americas and the Middle East, I failed to bring back any sales not just once but three times. Each trip had taken months of preparation, weeks of travel, and thousands of dollars.  After every trip during that period, I’d come back empty handed and unsuccessful. The effect on my self-esteem was devastating. The organization I worked for knew the reason and I too, gradually learned the reason. It had very little to do with the products, the business knowledge, or the market conditions then. It had all to do with me.

Several months of humbling reflection and pondering made me realize that what seemed like external challenges were really my own internal shenanigans.  I was playing with my own mind and myself. It was all about how I perceived and positioned myself in the world and to the world. My self-image was inflated and unreal. It needed work; lots of work!

Months after that deadly year of professional failures, disappointments, and humiliation, I remember a moment sitting by my mother’s feet and sharing my most recent, eventually successful trip across the world. Her hand rested on my head as she gently asked, “What was different this time, son?” I recall taking a very long pause while fighting back my tears, I responded, “It was me, Mom. It was my own over-inflated perception of myself that got in the way of my dealings with others and my attempts at creating value. It was my ego, Mom. ” She patted my head gently and tears that I was fighting with began to roll down from hers.

Our egos, or misrepresentations to ourselves and to the world, create majority, if not all, of our work-life challenges. No sure-fire way exists of eliminating or curing this chronic ailment that occurs and recurs in every one of us persistently and maliciously. But since that emotional realization of my malady in the presence of my mother, I had set out on a quest to find a remedy– a solution–to benignly manage or tone down the excessiveness of my own ego-driven, exaggerated perceptions of self. That was over two decades ago.

Nearly a decade ago I have found a balm in a new way of life inspired by the philosophy and practice of Appreciative Inquiry, originated by Dr. David Cooperrider of Case Western University, USA.

Three of the many guiding principles of this way of life are most relevant to us in evoking a true perception of self and in nurturing the possibilities and potential brought forth by such a benign and beautiful awareness.

Principle 1: Trusting that every Human System and every Human ( a system too) has innate and untapped potential.

Of paramount importance is the fact that this belief is innate and exists in all of us. It can also be very easily be unleashed with care and compassion. The quality, quantity, and comparative value of this hidden potential is priceless.

This perspective allows me to look at the external world as a world of abundance and opportunities. It allows me to leap onto unchartered waters, take risks and to be open to all that this dynamic life has to offer.  With this belief, I can live with confidence, courage, and optimism. It allows me to declare to myself that regardless of my size, shape, or skin color I am part of an unfolding universe and I need not protect myself any sort of pretensions and machinations.

Principle 2: Acknowledging and adapting to Diverse and Constantly Changing Perspectives.

By recognizing that people and organizations are different; by accepting that these individuals and organizations are in a state of flux and change allows one to hold back from being judgmental. With this principle, self-awareness takes on a systemic swing and allows one to view and regard people and institutions that are different, in a compassionate and holistic way. It helps us mingle with all others with a sense of wonder and enthusiasm.

For me, this approach sparks off an attitude of adaptability and strengthens the muscles for seeking synergistic possibilities. From “I know,” I can move to “I am interested in knowing, learning and adapting.” In this way the sense of my true and authentic self takes the lead and gently dissolves my ego.

Principle 3: Asking Questions instead of Telling and Opinionating.

This principle and practice of learning, leading, and guiding resets a dramatic pathway into uncovering and unleashing untapped potential in oneself and in others.

A few years ago, I had conceptualized and hosted a TV Talk Show called ExPat InSights. My core intention for the program was to highlight similarities between cultures and therefore, enhance the bond between the Philippines and the scores of foreigners living and working in the country. Diplomats of different nations, business leaders, NGO heads, members of academe, and any individual who represented anything different were invited to share their passions about their business or advocacies.

Two seasons into the program, and after close to 300 interviews, I had covered Cambodia, Afghanistan, South Africa, Sri Lanka, and Canada, among other countries. One day, my program assistant (whom I had given carte blanche to invite guests based on the above criteria) announced that the Ambassador of Pakistan had accepted the invitation to be on ExPat InSights. I nodded acknowledgement and smilingly showed my approval.

A couple of weeks before the set program date, I sat down to plan for the interview and my questions. And that’s when it hit me!  Pakistan? Wait! Isn’t that the country that borders India? Isn’t that the country that once used to be India? I realized that I’d lived too long away from my birth country and had forgotten that Indians and Pakistanis live across a blood-drenched border drawn 65 years ago.

Neither the Pakistanis nor the Indians have forgotten the pain, the trauma, and the bloody events from that past. They have had several wars and have continued until present day to deploy men armed and ready to kill anyone who crosses the barb-wired border.  These two groups go to war even when they play cricket or compete at the Olympics!

How in heaven’s name was I going to appreciate a representative of that country? How was I going to find and highlight the good? I realized that I was in an extremely difficult situation. My trust and adopted belief in the appreciative way of life had locked horns with a terrible past and with my own, unconscious fears.  Even if I did manage to be proper and professional as a host, I’d be ostracized and hated by a billion Indian people. I was faced with a fierce conflict of values within myself.

During the next few days I began to check for any loopholes in the invitation that had been sent  to the Ambassador.  Maybe the date was wrong? Maybe it was another show? Maybe the weather would announce a holiday for one of those infamous Philippine typhoons. Anything that would let me chicken out of my dilemma!

Meanwhile, the Ambassador had gone ahead and sent me his picture, his profile, current updates, and news about Pakistan-Philippine relations. I was getting deeper into the muck.  I began to have nightmares.  In those dreams, all Indian people from across the world were throwing sticks and stones at me and calling me unmentionable names. The eggs and tomatoes flew right at me through the TV screens. The Indian government had gone declared me a traitor.

A night before the interview date, I called up my mentor, Dean Rose Fuentes, who embodied the appreciative way of life.

“I don’t know what to do. This is a real mess, I’ve gotten myself into!” I screamed through the phone.

“Yes, I agree, this is a mess and I appreciate you calling me. Now, how is it that you want me to help you?” I realized that she’d appreciated my action and asked me a question right back. This late at night, she was setting a good example of walking the talk of appreciative inquiry.

“Do you, Dean, have any suggestion on how to sit across a person whose fore fathers might have killed some of my forefathers and be nice to him?”

“Wait,” she said, “Let me switch off my favorite episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants and let me think.”

I waited.

After what seemed an eternity of moving chairs, clicking switches and grunting noises, she came back on the phone and said, “There’s this wonderful little book called Dynamic Relationships by Jacqueline Stavros, and I think you ought to read it before you on live.”

I was a day away from dying in front of the cameras and she was asking me to go buy a book. I gently bid her good night and let her go back to Sponge Bob Square Pants.

I then called up another friend of mine; a wise old soul of Indian origin but Burmese by birth. He was in his 70s and I was sure he’d be able to give some practical advice. Not only was mature and smart but he also was a diplomat’s son. He knew tact and diplomacy.

“Tell the Ambassador that you are sick,” he suggested.

“But, I don’t want to lie, and especially not about illness,” I replied.

“Then tell him that the TV station does not approve of your program content,” he offered.

“I can’t do that! I created the show and I own full autonomy over programming. The station has nothing to say about the content and I’d still be lying,” I wailed.

“Hey look, you asked me for advice and given the fact that I need to be jumping into bed, here’s a last idea.”

“Ughh, okay, tell me please,” I begged.

“Say no, the Asian way,” he chuckled.

“And, what is the Asian way?” I asked.

“Tell him, that the show needs to be postponed and that you will call him … and then don’tever call him again,” he ended.

It struck me at that time that no matter what I do, it will be out of fear, out of a warped sense of reality. It would also amount to being a total cheat. I did not want to do that. The war of values inside me had ended. I trusted living the authentic and appreciative way.

The next day, there I was happily chatting with the Ambassador of Pakistan in front of three cameras. Our interview would soon be broadcast nationwide and across the world through the internet. I had swept my mind and heart clean of all biases; of all negative assumptions. I framed my questions such that each question appeared to lighten up the face of the Ambassador and he opened up his heart to me. He shared stories of struggle, success, and synergistic wisdom.

I even managed to ask him about why and how Osama Bin Laden had made Pakistan his hideout in his last days.  He answered every question politely and warmly. He expressed optimism and shared his insights about possibilities and hopes for a peaceful world. Not for a moment during the interview did I feel any enmity or friction. The interview, which is still up for anyone to view over the internet, is proof of the power and beauty of Appreciative Inquiry.

Yes, the process of gentle inquiry, of warmly exploring memories and stories of strength, success, and synergistic action works massively towards empowering others and driving change. The amazing thing about the process of inquiry is that it also works exceedingly well with conversations with our selves.

No, let’s not label it self-talk. Rather, let’s claim the use of appreciation and inquisitiveness as the backdrop for healthy, life-giving debate between our true selves and our inflated perceptions of self, our ego.

You have to understand though that the ego can never be totally eliminated. It can, though, be tamed with conscious efforts at aligning with an appreciative and an inquisitive way of life.  You also have to know that eliminating the ego totally is NOT necessary.   All we need is to keep it in check and maintain a healthy sense of self.

This belief and approach has become a way of living for me. This way of life is the air that fuels the fires of engagement, innovation and excellent execution towards growth and success at work. It is the belief system that strengthens my ties with family, friends, and the community at large. In every other aspect of existence, I depend on this life-giving oxygen to learn and innovate; to consult and facilitate; to coach and train.  Appreciative Inquiry constantly equips me to build bridges from where I am to where I want to go. It makes me humble and strong enough to have an impact on my own destiny.

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Five InSights to Thrive and Succeed

Long before the Secret was let out,   way before people began to trust that they can attract anything they want, I was told that my destiny was mapped out on the lines of my palms. You see, I grew up in a culture where poverty, misery and sorrow were all ascribed to fate; to some document etched out in space with my name and address on it.  If that’s the case, then I used to think, why work, why struggle and why hope? Why not just lie down wherever I am and let the forces of nature take over?

Pit Bulls & Entrepreneurs (2010)

The difference between Pit Bulls and Entrepreneurs is that, sometimes, Pit Bulls can give up.

More recently, I have discovered an amazing thing: it is only when my state of mind tells me to surrender and lie down that the forces of nature overpower me. It is only when I give up and falter that a moving, dynamic world shackles me with cobwebs of fear, lethargy, and bitterness.

Yes, there are certain aspects of life that have been etched on my palms. Aspects like; where I was born, who I was born to, and how my early youth turned out. These things I’ve had no control of, but beyond a certain period of my life, after completing certain developmental stages, I realized that I’ve had more and more control over how my destiny plays out. Everything has been the result of the choices I have made, the words I have spoken, and the actions I have taken.

And so I live with the conclusion that all the things that I’ve had no control upon were etched on my left palm and all those that I’ve had control of and will continue to have control over are being consistently rewritten and redesigned on my right palm. Thus, my life is a challenge, a synergistic output of what simply is and what I can think, say and do to keep shaping my future, my destiny.

At the start of 2014, a friend of mine, Francisco “Pax’ Lapid, the Dean of Truly Rich Club called me over for a cup of coffee and ambush- interviewed me about how to thrive in life. Caught unaware and unprepared, I thought I’ll just let my heart speak out. Today, I realize that my responses that day continue to bring new meaning to me and my world continuously.

Allow me to share the five insights which emerged in that serendipitous moment in the presence of two video cameras.

  1. Trust That Life is a Gift of Abundance:

Just like night and day, like up and down, there are two contrasting foundational world views that we all hold. The first view is that the world is a tough and a messy place where every dog is out to eat the other dog. To thrive and survive, I need to thrash down everything and everyone that seemingly gets in my way. When we are strong and in a rage, we may possibly win a few life battles but the war…oh, that is bound to end up in a disaster.  This narrow world-view debilitates and shrivels us.

The Second, a beautiful view, is that Life is not just a rare chance but possibly the only chance for us to live big, live happily and live with gusto. This view drives us to stay appreciative, optimistic, and creative. It also celebrates and includes everyone else in this party called life. This view does not diminish or hide failures and accidents, but it utilizes such to add to powerful life lessons and rapidly bounce back.

Everything we think, speak and act upon springs forth and forward from this foundational view. If we think the world is a lousy place to be born into and live in, then it will be so. If we trust that life is beautiful, a gift of abundance and happiness, then that is how we will live it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAW3i6gGwMA

 

  1. Consider Every Job to be Value-Creating Work

I don’t mean to refer to the dictionary meaning of work, career and a job but rather to the biblical character “Job,” whose life was full of struggle, misery, and punishment.

People often tend to relate what they do for a living as a punishment. We all need to realize this fact. We are in a living, moving, and dynamic world.  Change happens every second of every day. To keep up with a rotating and a revolving world, we too need to move.  We need to march, to sweep, and to toil. Some things will be easier to do, more pleasing to our senses and sensitivities.  Other things can be repugnant, and yucky like, say, picking up after our dogs, or diapering a baby. They can be difficult like firing a non-performing colleague who has become a friend.  (or other serious but common enough example.)

When we maintain a sense of balance and equanimity in whatever we do, then we will do everything with grace and serenity of the spirit. Our eyes and hearts will be focused on the fact that, just like gifts, life too comes wrapped in paper, pins and sticky stuff. Think of the struggles in life as the proof and evidence of life itself.

Regardless, of the job description and the status it represents, it is our attitude towards it that will decide how we perceive and act upon it.  And should we really want to change our job, we can surely and steadily claim it because we know that we can make that choice and act upon it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Owcp_fMJ5h0

 

  1. Reframe Regrets into Right Decisions

Far too many times, we tend to dwell on our sorry past. We spend time and energy in these thoughts until they become so murky and heavy that we have a hard time shedding this, pointless, emotional baggage.

Apart from having learned good lessons from a past event for future use, we need to let go of the memory. We need to forgive and forget the people involved in it, the hurt we felt or the anger that still engulfs us. To keep lugging around this emotional baggage serves us no purpose other than to corrode our blood and our spirits in our here and now.

To re-engineer our destinies we need to recognize that whatever we did in the past; whatever activities and relationships we were involved in were all part and parcel of the decision making process based on the material, mental, and societal resources available to us then.  At that time, we believed that we were doing the right thing, didn’t we? Well, now it is time to let go of the regrets.

Regretting our sorry past doesn’t have to define our present but can destroy it. It is only from recreating a happy past that we strengthen the foundations of our future. Regard all the traumatic experiences and the failures from your past as if they were all a bad dream and move on. Wake up, grab a fresh cup of coffee, and go seize the new day … every day!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQppBWP35OI

  1. Work Your Goals, Inch by Inch

We all have dreams…the good ones, I mean. If you don’t have a dream then that implies that you aren’t living. It matters not the size and the shape of your dream in comparison to the dreams of others. Your dream might be to own a backyard with a goat on it, while someone else might want to sell goat-milk soap to millions across the world; they are both, individually, valid dreams.

To dream is to see a place in the future, in a world where you can grasp a fistful of the sky for yourself and feel fulfilled and happy with it. Now beyond this “seeing” and beyond this vision, life requires that we put our shoulder into it definitively, smartly, and continuously. If we don’t act and if we don’t work, then the nice, big world will move on and leave us behind with an apologetic smile on its face.

Every single day, every single moment we must pluck a thought, take a step, pick a thing or two, and plod on towards our dream of a goat farm or a soap factory. There’ll be times when you may not be able to measure progress and there will be times when you may have to take five leaps instead of one step but plod on steadily and cheerfully and very soon, you will be there.

Currently, I am in the middle of book on sales and sales coaching. I worked feverishly at it for most of last year. Over the last two months I have been cracking knuckles over things other than the book but, by golly, I know I will be back on track in a jiffy!

Working your goals, big or small, is the measure of you turning your hopes, dreams and life’s purpose, step by step, into a reality.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1F7S8-T9s0

 

  1. Think in Systems and Think “Ecology”

More than two decades ago, Dr. Peter Senge created a masterpiece with his treatise on Systems Thinking with his book, The Fifth Discipline. He made the business world realize how they can either create value with an attitude of nurturing inclusiveness or do harm by staying obsessively driven towards fulfilling just their own goals. What is true for large business is also true for individuals and small groups.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1G0Fs__u4g

Yes, we must set our goals and pursue our own ideas of happiness but should any of our thoughts, words and actions create harm, directly or indirectly, for others then we need to revisit our dreams and our actions towards our vision. This requires focused and purposeful thinking from a wider perspective, with empathy and with compassion for people and the planet.

Let’s take the simple example of you wanting to own the world’s largest soap-making factory. If your factory does systemic harm to any other entity, then you need to rethink it. Or if your goal to become the best golfer in town means leaving your family wanting for your attention, then you need to rethink your own aspirations. This is ecology and this is thinking in systems.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PR2DYFGJU4s

In summary, I know many of us often feel like taking off and away from the daily challenges of life. Others grind their teeth and fight life with bitter aggression. History and now neuroscience too, point to the possibilities that good health, true wealth, and authentic happiness are achievable. It is achievable when we are clear about our purpose, creative with our approaches, and conscientious with our actions. This, after all, is an abundant and giving world. All that it asks of us is to be sensible and sensitive towards the world and with ourselves.

Now bring up your hands and glance at the lines of your left palm which represent the unchangeable. Then look at the lines of your right palm where your intelligence, awareness, strengths, and choices are etched out. Finally, clasp your hands together, ready to dive into a future of your own making in harmony with the world we all live in.

This is the way to thrive at work and in life.

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Coaching Is the Air I Breathe

When coaching, I lean in heavily on the values in words like appreciation, congruence and positive intention.

Let me explain: Our minds, the minds of others and the world we live in are a constant state of flux. One second we hold a thought, an idea or an image and the in the next second it is gone. It’s like we are frenetically sifting through thousands of images, audios and feelings.

To drive change, to achieve progress our intellect needs to take charge, stay in charge while respecting and acknowledging the needs of our frenzied minds.

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the HeART of STORY: Stories, How They Serve Organizations, Part 1

Today, there are huge developmental benefits that stories and storytelling deliver beyond unleashing creativity, using metaphors, and the philosophy that backs them. Yes, stories in storytelling are not just about people. They are also about nurturing the planet and pushing up the profits in business.

Stories help us connect with distant entities and cultures. Stories sustain and consistently enhance the levels of engagement within our own organizations, communities and cultures. Stories are the magical and metaphorical processes by which we can ethically influence our market and all our stakeholders in a creative manner.

Connect, Engage and Influence your World Creatively!

Stories Strengthen your Brand and Identity

Coca- Cola in the US, Tata Motors in India, and Jollibee in the Philippines are not just names and good products. They also have a very specific character and a whole personality attached to their names.

Utter the name of Coca-Cola and suddenly, the cognitive and perceptual screen in consumers’ minds explode with brilliant fireworks.  Phrases like “It’s the Real Thing, Coke Adds Life, Coke is it!” constantly pop into our heads. Beyond the immediate responses related to its, name there is also the assurance of quality, performance, and a unique dependability in all Coca-Cola products. This type of response and relationship with the consumer did not come about just recently. It came from an accumulation of thousands of experiences, emotions, and stories attached to the product and its partnership with people.

Coca-Cola is aware of this so it nurtures and protects this massive, intangible asset with the same ferociousness it applies in guarding its secret formula for producing the bubbly, cola drink. Coca-Cola knows this so it regularly fuels the fires that keep this relationship burning by creating new stories, new emotional attachments with its customers.

A few years ago, Coca- Cola churned up heart-warming emotions between India and Pakistan by putting up vending machines using 3D touch screen technology so that the peoples of these quarreling nations were able to see and mime and touch each other, virtually.

The history and relationship of these culturally similar countries and people is that from being one country, it was split in two more than sixty years ago. Many factions on both sides are still upset over the split that happened in 1947.  Each side is still unhappy about friends, memories, and homes that they left behind during what was called the “partition.”  They have fought several wars since then, quarreled over borders in the beautiful state of Kashmir, and blamed each other for cheating in sporting events.  Generally, their people are extremely suspicious of one other.  It was a gargantuan task for Coca-cola to bring together these two peoples into a life-sized, virtual interaction.

The campaign called Small World Machines provided a live communications portal linking strangers across the borders of India and Pakistan. First-of-its-kind 3D touchscreen technology projected a streaming video feed onto the vending machine screen while simultaneously filming through the unit to capture a live emotional exchange between people miles away from each other.

Jackie Jantos, former Global Creative Director of Coca-Cola, claimed that the idea of creating stories around shared experiences went back to its roots.  Coke started at a soda fountain which in itself is a communal experience. The India-Pakistan interaction might have been a virtual one but the emotions were real and open-hearted. The project not only endeared the Coca-Cola brand but also earned a lot of respect for Coke.

This is Part 1. Allow me a few days to upload Part 2. Enjoy!

Check Video on You Tube; the HeART of STORY

Download from Slideshare: the HeART of STORY

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the HeART of STORY: Science behind Stories and Storytelling

What exactly is the science behind a story? Why do stories stir up so much of our emotions and our humanity? Why do they have such a lasting effect on us? What happens when we tell stories? What happens to people when they listen to a story? What happens to me when I tell a story?

Firstly, as I tell the story, I begin to relive the experience. I relive the wonder and the excitement that is part of the truth in the story. As I use my left brain to recreate the setting, the context, and the characters involved, my right brain jumps in to participate by offering images, colors, sounds, and textures.  Then, both my left and the right brain begin to have fun together and go to play. The whole exercise of storytelling becomes a whole brain activity for me, the storyteller.

The second amazing secret behind this whole activity where the brain goes to play is the fact that this sense of play is also very contagious. How is it contagious? It releases endorphins and other sweet smells of bliss and fun that draw in and attract other people to join.  Because this activity was started by the left brain setting up a logical scene and then was ignited by the right brain firing up a party, the minds of all those around fully participate in the thrill by suspending their wariness and dropping their normal cerebral resistance to novelty.  This phenomenon is quite similar to when we see people dance and we are drawn in to join the dance.

When we see a bunch of people on the street joyfully laughing and playing, our own spirits light up. If inhibitions are holding us back, we feel like dropping them and jumping right into the fun.  In storytelling, the listeners’ minds begin to likewise log in, plug in, and salsa with our imagination and train of thoughts. They do this regardless of how much or how little they know about the story background or about the storyteller’s experience. This is because as we create and put up verbal holograms/holographs in the conversation space, the listeners also set up movie screens in their minds and watch movies of their own making, with themselves as the main character.  The movie we are putting across through storytelling inspires and projects a parallel movie in their minds.  The images, colors, sounds, and drama in our conversations spark multiple, similar, copies of scenes running in the minds of our audience. This is magic in action.

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Illustration 1: When you start telling a story, it helps others recall and relive their own stories, their own experiences.

This is exactly why the streets of Hollywood glitter with gold. Because in our minds and in the minds of countless audiences, we all think and believe we are part of the magic and mystique that rises out of Hollywood. In my mind, I am Peter Pan or the Lone Ranger and you must be Dr. Livingstone, I presume?

This is synergy and co-creativity in action.  This is the real story behind the power of storytelling.

Now, the third most powerful thing about stories and storytelling is the fact that they impact the deepest part of our brain and our emotions. They cut through our cerebral defenses and sink in. What are cerebral defenses and  why do they have to be surpassed? The human brain of a newborn baby comes with some pre-embedded coding towards his traits and character. These are acquired from parental traits and characters. This is genetics. Right after birth, the newborn baby’s brain starts to absorb and accumulate data from what he sees, hears, smells, touches, and tastes. This data gathers fast, accumulates rapidly, and integrates really swiftly in early childhood. All this data is acquired and stored in the form of pixels, sound bytes, touch and other modalities of sensory inputs.

Most of the data that is primarily absorbed, accumulated,and integrated acquires importance over time. They maintain their importance throughout our lives. We call them our values and beliefs. We can be, and we do turn emotional about our values and beliefs.  Emotions burst out from thinking of things sensitive to us—images, sounds and smells that have been around us, within us for a long time. Our emotions, thus, are the stories of our lives.

All forms of communication address and tap into recent memories that are not ancient or primal to us. Storytelling is the exception.  All other forms of communication connect with images, sounds, and smells acquired not so long ago that reside in our recent memories. This neighborhood of our “recent” memories is a highly congested, constantly active desktop of chaos and novelty. And the older and tender memories of our growing years fear and avoid such chaos and congestion.

When narrating and listening to stories, the sights, sounds, aromas, textures, and flavors from our growing-up, formative years begin to surface.  They burst through the fear of the current, cerebral chaos and part through it like an old, bearded man once mythically parted the sea to get his people across to the other side.

Every time we tune into a story, the chaos and the confusion of cognition fall away to make a path so our emotions easily dance with the emotions expressed by the storyteller, as we see and hear them. Every time our emotions are happily touched, we become eager to do something, to take action, to build new things, and to stretch our limits as individuals, communities, and organizations.

 

Check out my book, the HeART of STORY, organizational and leadership storytelling…

 

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the Truth behind Stories: the HeART of STORY

The reality today is very few people in the world want to see or hear the bold truth. In fact, the bolder and starker the truth gets, the lesser attention it receives. It can, more often than not, be despised such that people thwart and rebel against it. And yet, the same beautiful truth when wrapped in color, garnished with flowers, and accompanied by song can become a reigning reality. That is the power of Story. Stories are core Truths wrapped in roses, rainbows and rhythm. That is the story behind storytelling.

 

HISTORY OF STORIES

Eons ago, when man discovered fire, he also discovered the wonder of telling stories around that fire. After a hard day’s hunt, he would gather his tribe and begin to converse and tell great stories. He told stories about the source of life, about the sun, about the moon and the stars. He also told stories about the time and place where the sun was born and how the moon romanced it. He told stories about how the moon pursued the sun and died every month to be reborn to love the sun all over again. He told stories about how every individual had a star of his own up in the teal and midnight-blue skies.

Day after day, night upon night, from one season to another, man told stories –tales about love, courage, adventure, conquest, and wars. Around the fire, he told stories of ferocious Spartan warriors and heroes that battled one-eyed giants. He told stories about birds that could fly into the sun, burst into cinder, and then rise again from the ashes to fly right back into the sun.

Over the ages, stories of tradition, honor, and great courage ruled the air around the fires. There were stories told about great escapes, bold robberies, and giant shipwrecks. Discoveries were reported about new worlds, new wealth, and new people. Narrated with rhyme, repetition, and rhythm, all these stories were etched on the walls of the caves where our ancestors lived and into the hearts and minds of all mankind. Shadows and echoes from the flickering fires left unforgettable legends visualized and represented on the walls of our current homes. Today, many of these stories have become a large part of belief systems, of our culture and our tradition.

 

Taken from the book, the HeART of STORY.

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the HeART of STORY; in leading organizational change

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At the heart of it all, organizational storytelling must be about putting across a certain truth—a truth that teaches, inspires, sustains and strengthens the moral fiber of the organization’s spine, structure and culture.

When the leadership of such an organization promotes and publishes such a truth then it follows that it has ethical intention at the core and this, automatically, drives the organization and its members to execute the elements necessary progress and flourish in a whole-hearted and an inclusive way. The reason behind it is that, in essence, stories are the chronicles and the records of the values that an organization espouses and the values that the organization has already lived and continues to live by on a daily basis.

Connect, Engage and Influence your World Creatively!

Though organizations like living many living systems naturally grow and morph, human organizations that can recall, re-tell and re-live their values repeatedly and consistently do not easily change driven by the forces of nature, changing economies or changing times. Such organization stake an active part in navigating and nurturing their own growth and development, progressively, towards their espoused values and visions. They also consistently upgrade their values and raise the bar on their own performance towards commercial success and service towards a greater good for society.

This fact does bring to mind the age-old debate of what leads and drives growth and what creates success. Is it nature or is it nurture?

Transformative leaders and authentic change agents know that there is a third, often ignored and underrated, factor-the creative intelligence innate in all human systems. Unlike most other living organisms and other living systems, a human system has the cognitive ability to look back at its past, compare it to the present and then create a concoction of ideas, images, arguments in the form of vision, in the form of a future-paced story and design and deliver that ideal future for itself and the world that it is a part of. It is only humans that have the uncanny ability to curate, collect and diffuse stories of innovation which impact and shape our future.

Take a walk through the halls and corridors of any of the global locations of Procter & Gamble Co., and you will see strewn on their walls stories of growth, of success, of mergers, of acquisitions, of challenges faced and overcome by them since their birth in 1837.  In their logs, on their walls amongst the stories, amongst the colors stand out faces of their leaders, their heroes who not only created those stories but also told and retold them in multiple forms and on numerous occasions.

Have a conversation with any one of the thousands of employees of Philippines Long Distance Telephone Company, Smart Telecom, Philex Mining Corp; Beacon, Manila North Tollways Corporation, Maynilad Water Services Corporation, Landco Pacific Corporation, Medical Doctors Incorporated are any of the subsidiaries of the First Pacific Group found by Manuel V. Pangalinan of the Philippines and hear stories of how a single leader inspires and motivates them with forthrightness, ethical action and his pioneering spirit. In less than 20 years, he bought into dormant and decaying businesses and, single-handedly and courageously, brought them back to life to growth by telling future-based stories of increased efficiency, unleashed innovation and growth. Each of these organizations dug up what they valued from their past and attached it to a future they are, together, building.

In my recently published book, the HeART of STORY, there’s a detailed case description of how the Lopez Group of the Philippines successfully used interactive, online storytelling to revive their values and increase engagement across its 14,000 strong organization.

Intentionally, authentically and assertively leading change in human systems is a matter of exercising our imaginations and using our intelligences’ creatively. Leading change through storytelling is the act of backing up our change initiatives with the positive power from our pasts then stretching ourselves into the images and visions of an exciting future. That is the heart of storytelling and that is the creative tension that leaders of change use to transform our worlds.

 

Here’s also a link on How to Tell a Story.

Here’s also the link to the book, the HeART of STORY.

Enjoy!

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Be Not Afraid!

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I must confess that it’s been months since anyone has placed me in the interviewees’ hot seat. Also, during talks, training or other presentations I shy away from talking about myself and, usually, beg that my introduction, if any, be shortened. Then, last week, this request for a written interview from India comes about and I casually and candidly responded to it. After responding, I posted the link on my social media channels and gave it little thought until a dear friend commented and said, “Awesome interview!”

That made me go back look at the questions and my answers to those questions. It wasn’t until I reached the end of the interview did I realize that it was the last few words of my responses that earned me that “Awesome interview, ” compliment. I realize that the reader recognized the fact that while I was responding to the interview and, besides, by habit wanting to inspire others I was also indulging in positive, self talk. Today, again,  I confess I was indulging in self talk because like most every person on earth, I too am. sometimes, at an unconscious level afraid of things, of life and of taking action.

Yes, my statement at the end is more for myself than it was and is for others. Yet, I hope it resonates with you. Be Not Afraid!

Here’s the whole interview: Raju Mandhyan – International Coach & Learning Facilitator from Manila, Philippines

Q1. How did your career journey start? Or Who/What inspired you to start this Business/ Entrepreneurship?

Well, I have had three careers – engineering, export marketing and what I now like to call “education.”In the late 90s, after the Asian crisis, I was hungering to do something other than just “business.” I went back to study and discovered that I had an ability to clarify ideas, enter-train and inspire people. I began to do that in social and business circles when the British Council in Manila invited me to come to do, for them, what I was doing for fun, for myself. and wrote me a check for it. At about the same time I attended a conference where Deepak Chopra, Mark Victor Hansen and Ron Kaufman were presenting. From the stage, Ron Kaufman, singled me out and told me that I should be, on stage, doing what he was doing. I did and here I am.

Q2. Kindly share some information about your Business, products and services here.

Well I speak, train and coach in the areas of communications skills, business and leadership innovation.

But, here’s my first “but”, more than that I work with individuals and organizations in un-cluttering their minds, getting clarity and going after what they truly want in their lives and businesses.

My first book, the HeART of Public Speaking though caters to skill-building in making business presentations but also motivates people into creating true value. My second, the HeART of Humor, again, caters to being funny in conversations but, in reality, inspires to be kind, compassionate and forgiving to self and others. My third book, Pit Bulls & Entrepreneurs, which is a lot of fun to read tells stories of entrepreneurial successes but drives the reader into being gritty, gumption filled and practice tenacity.

Books by Raju Mandhyan – 
http://www.amazon.com/Raju-Mandhyan/e/B00J193X5A/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1

Q3. What kind of challenges did you face while starting/doing business?

Moving from one profession to another was a challenge. It was like jumping off a cliff and enjoying the rush. It was like creating and living another life while still being Raju Mandhyan. Now, if I don’t have challenges, I go looking for some. You know what they say; challenges are the proof of life.

Q4. Do share with our readers about your discovery period when you were facing difficulties in your business?

Yes, there are moments when you feel like hanging up your guns, taking off your boots and rotting in front of the television watching Sponge Bob and Square Pants. During these times, I discovered that there is no giving up. There is one truth to this life and that is that the universe is constantly expanding and growing and we must, because we’ve been gifted with intelligence, get off that couch and grow.

Q5. Share with our readers about your experiment period after the discovery period?

Obviously, I did not experiment with surrender or resignation, I got more creative and kept plugging on.

Q6. What are your future plans? Or now what is your vision for next five years?

Vision and strategy and goals are western concepts. I am inspired by what Professor Ram Charan believes and practices. Just keep on doing what you like to do. In what you like to do lies the purpose of your life.

Q7. How would you advice/suggest new entrepreneurs who want to start & sustain in business?

Be not afraid!

Almost like the story in this video for SIYLI

Q8. LinkedIn profile URL link https://www.linkedin.com/in/rajumandhyan

Q9. Facebook profile URL link https://www.facebook.com/raju.mandhyan

Q10 Twitter profile URL link https://twitter.com/RajuMandhyan

Q11. Personal blog URL link http://www.www.mandhyan.com

Q12. Company website & Company blog URL linkhttp://www.www.mandhyan.com/insights/ , http://www.expatinsights.com/

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