Coaching Is the Air I Breathe
When coaching, I lean in heavily on the values in words like appreciation, congruence and positive intention.
Let me explain: Our minds, the minds of others and the world we live in are a constant state of flux. One second we hold a thought, an idea or an image and the in the next second it is gone. It’s like we are frenetically sifting through thousands of images, audios and feelings.
To drive change, to achieve progress our intellect needs to take charge, stay in charge while respecting and acknowledging the needs of our frenzied minds.
Days and hours before a coaching session, I study the profiles and the needs of my client obsessively. Then I take quiet time out to set my own, internal state of mind and agenda focused towards facilitating my client goals. I must claim that I mentally and spiritually sweat, bleed and cry until I have massive alignment and focus. The one mantra I, continuously, run through during this period is, “It’s not about you Raju, it’s about the client. It’s not about you Raju, it’s about the client. It’s not about you Raju, it’s about the client.” Hours and minutes before the session I let go, unwind and find a place inside of me that is quiet, confident and has a malleable plan and a process with the client’s agenda on the top.
Starting now the air I breathe becomes calm, nourishing and life-giving. During the session I am aware, active, unbiased, focused and ask questions which clarify, challenge and catalyze action. Soon on that journey of creativity and construction beautiful things begin to flow and grow.
At the end of it all, I end up as an awed and amazed bystander to an awakening in others. This my way, this is my life and coaching others is the air I breathe.
I do realize that there are many out there who’d like to breathe the same air I do, here are key ideas which may shepherd you into being able to do so.
- Trust and believe, absolutely, that your client has the potential and the strengths.
- Forget yourself. Focus, totally, outwards and towards wanting to create value.
- Probe gently and carefully as to what strengths exist in your client and can be enhanced.
- Watch and hear her, truly, set her own specific, attainable, time-bound goals.
- Keep her empowered and accountable not just to you but to herself too.
Over time, gently but surely, you will end up as an awed and amazed bystander to an awakening in others. This can become your way, your life and coaching others will become the air you will breathe.
Raju Mandhyan / Keynote Speaker, Coach and Learning Facilitator
Thanks Raju for the reminder that it is about the client and not me. It is easy for me to be anxious about my performance or whether the client will like me, rather than entering into the conversation as a non anxious presence. As I prepare an upcoming keynote address, I’ll remember it is about the audience and not me.