the Facilitator’s Way

Long ago I read a short story about how three mother birds brought forth into the world three baby birds.  When the first baby bird struggled to break out of her shell, mother bird rolled up her sleeves and went right to work for her baby. When the second baby bird struggled to break out of her shell, second mother bird leaned back against the tree and whistled a happy tune. And, when the third baby bird struggled then her mother bird pecked at the shell as and only when needed. Most other times she stood by and let the baby bird fight her own fight.

Graphic Facilitation for IAF, Philippines

Graphic Facilitation for IAF, Philippines

You have probably guessed the outcomes by now. First baby bird broke free but never flew. Second baby bird, poor dear, never made it out of the shell. And, the third baby bird grew up just right, became a productive citizen and a good daddy-bird in due time.

In the social and business world where our every breath, every word and every action needs to drive innovation and growth, our abilities to breed, manage and develop talent requires the mind-set and competencies of the third mother bird.  Take any business activity; brainstorming, idea-generation, problem-solving, strategy-forming, consensus-seeking, negotiations of all kinds, action-planning, performance analysis, training, mentoring coaching and even celebrating success requires our leaders to have the mind-set and the know how to bring out the best from individuals and communities. Those in the know call this the art of facilitating growth or, better still, the Facilitators Way.

Of course, beyond the mind-set and the natural competencies there are methods and processes to be learned and mastered. Thankfully for upcoming teachers, trainers, moderators, coaches, consultants, lawyers and other mediators a treasure-trove of these processes shared by leading facilitators and thought leaders at the International Association of Facilitators, worldwide.

The IAF Philippines, International Association of Facilitators Philippines’ represents IAF- World a professional body established to promote, support and advance the art and practice of facilitation through methods exchange, professional growth, practical research and collegial networking in the Philippines.

In the last one year of its inception we have run, at cost, four Learning Sessions sharing the skills of Graphic Facilitation, Story-telling, World-Café, Force-Field Analysis for more than 200 professional and want to’ be professional facilitators. On Saturday July, the 2nd, we will once again present and demonstrate the technology of Deep Democracy. Sign up at https://goo.gl/sX5f2q

Anyone who needs to learn professional facilitation is invited to learn, share, demonstrate and build a Philippines where all forms of interventions, innovations and development efforts take on a compassionate, professional and an elegantly inclusive edge. IAF Philippines, the Facilitators Way, is the way to become a good parent and a productive citizen of the world

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A Story: The Wrong House

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Everyone loves a good story but I have a penchant for stories. I look out for them like an addict yearns for a shot in the arm. And, when I do get that shot, life for a while becomes livable, love-giving.

On a flight from Bangkok to Manila, I happened to land a seat next to an old friend, Louie, and we began to catch up on each other with stories. Some we’d heard but, nevertheless, they were still good ones and then he hit me with a whopper of a story.

More than a decade ago, at a workshop on Appreciative Inquiry,  Loiue was sitting next to a repatriate from Saudi Arabia called Elmer. Part of the workshop proceeding require that participants ask each other questions that’ll bring up good memories, memories of success and memories of having had a change of heart.

“Can you share me a story or two about having lived and worked in Saudi Arabia?” asks Louie of Elmer. Elmer In Prayer

“At first it was tough. I hated every aspect of the Saudi culture. I hated the authorities. I hated the fact that they had so much wealth and power over all those that came to seek a living in Saudi Arabia. Most of all, I hated the fact that there were no churches in the vicinity for a Catholic like me to drop by and pray. Nevertheless, I continued working and suffering, hoping that one day I’d save up enough money to go home and look after my adolescent daughter and wife in the Philippines. You see I loved them both to death, and believed that they both brought meaning and purpose to my life,” shared Elmer.

“And?” urged on Louie.

“Life wasn’t easy. The work was demanding and I really wasn’t saving up much, as a construction worker in Saudi Arabia. Three years went by and I began to grow homesick when one day my wife calls up and claimed our daughter, Precious, was seriously ill and had to be brought to the hospital. Panic-stricken and helpless, I stayed by the phone for the next few days. Three days into the hospital, I get a call claiming that Precious needed to undergo immediate surgery or we would lose her. My heart screamed out in pain and I had no idea what to do, where to go? I had, then, not enough money to send to my wife and I had no one to run to. I had no place to borrow from in Saudi Arabia,” cried Elmer.

“Where’d you go?” asked Louie.

“I was desperate. I called a few, Filipino co-workers but we were all in the same boat – helpless and money-less. It was before sunrise on a Friday in Saudi Arabia and I couldn’t even approach my bosses at work. My heart still screaming, I stepped out onto the streets of Riyadh hoping to beg, borrow or let a miracle happen. My Christian heart yearned for an altar to kneel before and send out my plea into the skies but then again, this was Saudi Arabia, and I couldn’t find a church. A few blocks away from my place of stay I reached a mosque from within which, I could hear prayers being recited. Sozzled with pain and anguish, I walked in and in a corner fell upon my knees and let my head drop in prayer. I wanted my daughter to live. I wanted her to be there when I went home.”

“Gosh,” muttered Louie and placed his arm across Elmer’s shoulders, “what happened?”

“I didn’t know but an Imam had walked up to me and was standing in front of me, demanding to know if I were a Muslim. No, I replied, I am not, “replied Elmer.

“Then, in that case, I am sorry, but you will have to step out and take your prayers and plea somewhere else,” announced the Imam.

His face wet with tears, Elmer stumbled up and with shoulders drooping, and he began to walk out with the Imam right on his tracks. He was angry at himself for having walked into a wrong house. When outside, the Imam stopped him and asked what exactly was his problem. Elmer’s heart burst and he poured out his pain, sobbingly, to the Imam. With hardly a shift in his attitude, the Imam had Elmer follow him to his bank’s automated teller and punched out the amount of money that Elmer thought would get his Precious out of danger. “Pay me back when and if you can. If not then consider it as a response to your plea,” smiled the Imam and walked away.

My friend Louie, too, wiped away the tears from his own face and asked, “So, did you ever get to see that Imam again.”

“No, I haven’t” claimed Elmer, “but there is not a single day in my life that I do not think of him. Every time I enter a church here in the Philippines, I see his stoic, bearded face in the crowds and my heart smiles. I must confess that I do not want to go back to Saudi Arabia at my age now but the amazing thing is that in me there is no dislike or contempt people of a different belief. This, this way, I feel happy and big inside of me.”

“I tell you, brother, no story has touched and changed me the way that Elmer’s story did,” said Louie to me, as our plane skidded on the runway in the Philippines. Louie’s miracle question to Elmer had changed him and continues transforming people who hear of it.

Me? I got my story shot-in-the-arm and still have my head in clouds since that day.

Raju Mandhyan

 

My upcoming public workshops:

InSpire Like a CEO: http://www.genesistrainingevents.com/Raju/inspire.html

Appreciative Leadership: http://www.genesistrainingevents.com/Raju/AL.html

 

My books also available on Amazon: http://goo.gl/OZSMj8

Posts on Facebook: https://goo.gl/MXQEqU

Talks on You Tube: https://goo.gl/dVclfm

Choice Clips from ExPat InSights :  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjf3sHaZBSo

 

 

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Stop at Why: How Great Coaches Inspire Self Transformation

I have participated in hundreds of conversations on why not ask the “why” question in coaching and the itch to answer calls for this write-up.

Though I have covered what exactly is coaching in many of my previous blogs and it is covered in depth in my book, the HeART of the CLOSE. For this specific write-up let’s go with “coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential,” as stated by the International Coaching Federation at  https://goo.gl/MGM1KC

Now in the process most coaches and those that train others to coach will claim “ask all questions but stay away from the “why” question.” In response most newbies will go, “Huh? Why? But Simon Sinek claims that is the ultimate question to ask ahead of the what and the how questions!”

So, ask “why” or ask not “why?”Stop at Why

Well the answer, Charlie, is that both the parties are right and both of them are approaching the raison d’etre from two different windows. One is working inside out and the other is working outside in. The leader who starts with the why question is giving clarity, shape and existence to the purpose behind what she is dreaming of, speaking of and acting upon for her followers to understand, align and deliver the vision they together co-create. Knowing why we dream, say and do becomes of utmost importance.

On the other hand when a coach begins to partner with a client in a thought-provoking and creative process for her client to maximize their personal and professional potential then she, the coach, has no right to influence her client’s “why” but mostly work with her “what” and “how.” For a client to change, upgrade or even, sometimes, dump her “why” is totally and completely a personal choice. Should the coach make even the slightest effort to influence the client’s choice then the whole process loses purity and ceases to become a coaching partnership.

That is, essentially, the raison d’etre behind why a coach must stop at why when coaching others.

There are several other reasons why “why” isn’t that great a question to employ in coaching others and some of them are:

  1. Asking a “why” question can seem confrontational and overwhelming.
  2. Asking a “why” question can seem to be influenced by the coaches’ personal preferences and paradigms.
  3. Asking “why” questions require a client to dig deep and probe into their own, sometimes, unconscious beliefs also called “metaprograms” in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP.)

Thus, asking a “why” question can be intrusive and extremely over-whelming in a pure coaching partnership.

Though, I must confess, a professional/well-experienced/intuitive coach will employ the “why” question at times and with great effect and results. Consider this kind of a coach as a rare medicine man who can kill poison with poison at the right time, with the correct amount of the dosage.

There, that answers the question of why not to ask the why question in coaching. Thus, Stop at Why, that is how great coaches inspire self-transformation.

If you like this article then let me know and we can take up When and How to use Why or How to replace it with a What?

My books also available on Amazon: http://goo.gl/OZSMj8

Posts on Facebook: https://goo.gl/MXQEqU

Talks on You Tube: https://goo.gl/dVclfm

Choice Clips from ExPat InSights :  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjf3sHaZBSo

 

 

 

 

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Storytelling Legacies of Leaders

In the mid-1930s India, a spritely old man wrapped up in loincloth spoke of freedom, compassion, and peace. Mahatma Gandhi carried a big stick, marched across the nation to pick up a fistful of salt by the ocean, and eventually liberated the country. He spoke to his people through painted visions and he touched hearts through parables of possibilities, “Change,” he said “must come from the inside. We must become that change.”

Connect, Engage and Influence your World Creatively!

A few decades later in America, another visionary stepped on the podium and shortly after, set aside the text of his prepared remarks to improvise. Addressing a crowd of many thousands, he declared his dream—people from all corners of the country, from all walks of life, children of all races living together as one “to turn the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.” He announced his vision to the world to change a nation.

In the early 1980s in the Philippines, a journalist-turned-statesman chose to stand up against tyranny.  Amid the toughest of odds, he flew home, stepped off the plane, and walked into the waiting jaws of death.  This act of courage gave life to a story that inspired millions to act.  Fired by his example and call of, “The Filipino is worth dying for!” the first ever people power revolution produced a peaceful transfer of leadership and changed the country’s future. People power became a global model for bringing about change at the country level.

In comparison to the last 20 years, the rate of progress and the proliferation of information and technology have been exponential and show no signs of plateauing.  How people will regulate and sustain life stories in the future is unimaginable.  The stories of today are flourished in diverse formats. They are told and retold to sound and music, in dance, in art, in words, in moving images, all in bytes and pixels.  Stories travel, morph and multiply at the speed of light with a cursory glance and the touch of a fingertip.

Will this explosion of knowledge and ideas through technology ever change the concept and the heart of telling stories? The answer is a flat out no!

Here’s why:

  • Wherever they may sit, leaders enhance their credibility and authenticity through storytelling to spark the change they seek. Storytelling does much, merely by advocating and counter-advocating propositional debate, which leads to increased discussions.
  • Storytelling is focused on the future. It is not just an extrapolation of the present. It swirls emergent, new phenomena and nourishes it by downplaying the doubts and misconceptions of yesterday.
  • Stories are about human empowerment and real transformations in organizations. Stories are about humanity. Stories are about us transforming into a better us. Stories are about us wanting to know who we are and about us wanting to reach for the stars.

A story is like mist that develops on the outside, but the wisdom emerges from the inside. When a story touches our hearts, it takes hold of us forever and silently sets us free. This is a never ending journey.  It is also a never ending symphony. As long as this quest exists, stories will always fuel and fire us. And, since this is a never ending quest, we will always be leading ourselves and others happily into the ever after through stories.

That is the HeART of stories taken from the book, the HeART of STORY, available on Amazon: http://goo.gl/OZSMj8

Posts on Facebook: https://goo.gl/MXQEqU

Talks on You Tube: https://goo.gl/dVclfm

Choice Clips from ExPat InSights :  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjf3sHaZBSo

 

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Octogenarian Thrives on Measurable Action

Octogenarian Thrives on Measurable Action!

Octogenarian Thrives on Measurable Action!

In a world where talk is cheap an 84-year old takes inspired action and impacts the lives of scores of school going kids in Albay, Philippines.

Sunder Mukhi, a former businessman and an active Rotarian in his 80s was done with cutting cakes and drinking wine on his birthdays. He’d had way too many of them, he claimed. Just before turning 84 he set out on a mission to do something else, something different and something that would serve and cater to something bigger and larger than himself and his normal reach in life.

He knew he had scores of family members and friends spread across the globe and across his beloved domicile-the Philippines. He knew that come his birthday he’d get greeting cards, gifts, poems and all the usual things that pour in from loved ones when one does love a lot of people like he did.

He chose to give a creative twist to this ritual and asked all his friends and family to donate a brand new bicycle on his birthday which, in turn, he’d pass it onto school-going kids in small town, Albay, Philippines. He set a goal of 84 bicycles to match his turning 84 in February 2016. His idea and request was creative and yet simple and the gifts/donations began to pour in. People thought this was fun, and their generosities would take shape and serve a deserving community not just in the short term but would also leave a long lasting impact on young hearts. It would tell them that the world is not scarce, not mean and tough but a world that is beautiful and abundant.

The results?

Instead of 84, a whopping 142 gifts in the form of bicycles poured in. The whole transaction, now, will not just make it easy for kids to commute to school but will also fill their hearts with the exhilaration of living in a beautiful world. Here’s more about this story: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/762273/no-more-walking-for-albay-kids

As a leadership skills trainer and a life coach, I profess and preach about the power of action, about doing things rather than just talking about things. One must learn and make it a habit of getting up, moving and giving the future a little nudge that becomes measurable and leaves a long-term, positive impact. From that perspective 84-year old, Rotarian Sunder Mukhi’ s action becomes a bench-mark of affirmative action for me and all of us to emulate. He didn’t just talk about driving change, he walked, no, he biked himself into a brand new world of hope and happiness.

Raju Mandhyan

www.mandhyan.com

A World of Clear, Creative and Conscientious Leaders!

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The Future is a Blank Sheet

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The Future is a Blank Sheet

The Future is a Blank Sheet

You can change your lives!  Trust me, it is entirely possible to cast off the past and retell your story from this day forward.  All of nature and the universe is an act of creation; an act of storytelling.

The poet Nasadiya Sukta once said:

“Whence all creation had its origin,

he, whether he fashioned it or whether he did not,

he, who surveys it all from highest heaven,

he knows—or maybe even he does not know”

The present and future are unknowns, each a blank sheet of paper on which to become creative.  It is important to accept and embrace the possibility within the present.  We can lay the groundwork for the future, we can enjoy a moment, or we can learn something new that will improve our mind.  It is possible to set aside disempowering stories and move forward into new ones.

Part of my mission is to help people set their minds free to explore new paths and areas of power and potential.  We work with future leaders to develop a story of success and happiness.  There are no limits to the imagination, and if there are no limits to the imagination then there are no limits to your potential.  For every challenge, there are multiple paths to explore and conquer.  For every problem, there are multiple solutions.  People can create a mindset of creativity, energy, and exploration.

You have the power to change your stories, and in doing so you also have the power to change your lives. Yes!

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Leadership: Trust and Space

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Long ago I heard a fable I heard a fable of a mother eagle laying two eggs. To help them hatch, one she barely pecks at all while the other she helps more than necessary. The baby from the first egg succumbs to the entrapment of her shell while the second loathes flying on his […]

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Appreciative Feedback, How to Give It

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The toughest task of any manager-leader is providing critical feedback and doing it in a benign and productive way. The day you master how to provide constructive and corrective feedback without drawing blood is the day you can claim to have touched the shores of leadership wisdom.  Feedback that may appear hard on the surface is actually supportive and developmental at the core.

These five simple attitudinal and behavioural practices for providing feedback will not just build others but inspire them to do better at work, and even life.

  1. View the dropping performance or the floor behaviour as an event.  Do not look at it as something good or bad, but simply as an “event” in a day in the life of an employee and manager.
  2. Refrain from getting emotional, from taking things personally or from becoming personally attached to the outcomes. Practice looking at the “event” from the eyes of the recipient of the feedback and also from the eyes of a third, neutral perspective.

    Appreciative Feedback

    Appreciative Feedback

  3. Our brain is made up of three levels-the Rational, the Romantic and the Reptilian also known as the neo-cortex, the middle brain and the limbic brain. The limbic brain is the seat of strong emotions. Manage your demeanour and the restlessness of your Reptilian Brain, which tends to show its fangs every now and then. Juggle the thoughts, ideas, and opinions about the incident between your Reasoning and the Romantic Brain to calm and cool down your Reptilian Brain.
  4. Describe the event to the feedback recipient objectively and in the simplest possible terms. Don’t say “I think” “I believe”, “I guess”, “I assume”.  Just state the situation and describe what you saw, what you heard and what you understood and felt.
  5.  Wait for the feedback recipient to think through and then respond. It is possible that upon sensing your equanimity, she will take responsibility, suggest solutions and even offer to resolve the issue herself.  If this happens, it can be the end of the feedback session because your colleague has taken responsibility and there is no need to correct further.
  6. You can then discuss what changes need to come about. You can then dialogue about the “how and the when” of the ideas you co-create.  Highlight and detail the measurable but be open to possibilities of challenges that may still come about.
  7.  Finally, end your feedback in a warm and friendly manner. Manage it such as if it were a chat led by the recipient of the feedback rather than by you, the manager.

Many years ago I read a book entitled True Freedom written by an Australian monk living in Thailand. He wrote about a day when he was extremely mad at a junior monk for having messed up on a project. He sent for the monk and had planned to give him a tongue lashing to remember. As he sat there fuming, he realized he did not like the “state” he had driven himself into! Soon he began to think of the many years he had known the junior monk. He remembered the times they had laughed together at other failures and successes. He remembered the times they had struggled and survived through tough periods.  A smile slowly came upon his face just at the time when the junior monk knocked at his door and asked to be let in.

You can guess pretty well how that planned tongue lashing went. At the end of 20 minutes, after they brainstormed ideas and action plans, they parted ways laughingly and with hearts and minds filled with new vigour and hope.

So, whenever you get mad or upset at any of your people’s’ performance, look back at their track record, look back at your relationship and from that perspective, slowly and gently speak up and co-create solutions and plans for growth. The rule of thumb in providing corrective feedback appreciatively is to see the big picture, delete your ego from the equation and mutually find a way forward into growth and success.

Inspired by the book, the HeART of the CLOSE.

 

 

12/14/15 Inspire Like a CEO in Mumbai http://www.genesistrainingevents.com/inspire.html

12/21/15 Appreciative Leadership in Bangalore  http://www.genesistrainingevents.com/Workshops/ai-mail.html

Books on Amazon: http://goo.gl/OZSMj8

Posts on Facebook: https://goo.gl/MXQEqU

Talks on You Tube: https://goo.gl/dVclfm

Choice Clips from ExPat InSights:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjf3sHaZBSo

 

 

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The Future, Here and Now

In the summer of ’97, while I was enrolled in an advanced strategy and business economics program (SBEP) at the wonderful University of Asia Pacific, we were busy forecasting the impact of the upcoming presidential elections in the Philippines.

Several groups of executives from different industries huddled up, crunched numbers, argued and came up with two outcomes at the end of a harrowing afternoon. First, the Philippines’ Peso which was at Pesos 37 would cross Pesos 40 to 1 U.S. Dollar before Christmas that year. Second, Senator Joseph Ejercito Estrada would make a dandy President for the country. Well, one of the two predictions did come true.

Scores of times since then I have seen businesses and business heads come together every year and figure out what the future holds for their business and how, precisely can they forecast, see ahead of the curve and drive their businesses strategically and fruitfully. It’s a great exercise and, well again, usually one out of their two predictions comes true. And, that is a good thing.

Eyes on the Road ahead, and Ear to the Ground.

Eyes on the Road ahead, and Ear to the Ground.

A better thing might be if leaders and organizations focus a lot more on exploiting the future that is happening right now in the here and now. Many a times, no, most of the time leaders of organization get so taken in by their intelligences and plan that they, in a way, put on blinders towards all else that may be happening right now and within their reach and scope. Innovation need not, always, happen in idea-generating rooms or forums. Innovative leaders need to keep a sharp eye out for what is happening in the marketplace in terms of change in demographics, weather, competition, technological advances and in the political arena. Our plans of action and our goals need to be placed in right front of us. Our hearts and hands need to be occupied with what is being created and, yes, our ears need to be kept on the ground because many a times the future that we plan to exploit is occurring right here and right now.

Raju Mandhyan

My upcoming open to public events:

11/17/15 Communicating and Leading across Cultures in Dubai: http://goo.gl/ajjp2l

12/14/15 Inspire Like a CEO in Mumbai http://www.genesistrainingevents.com/inspire.html

12/21/15 Appreciative Leadership in Bangalore  http://www.genesistrainingevents.com/Workshops/ai-mail.html

Books on Amazon: http://goo.gl/OZSMj8

Posts on Facebook: https://goo.gl/MXQEqU

Talks on You Tube: https://goo.gl/dVclfm

Choice Clips from ExPat InSights:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjf3sHaZBSo

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A Story: A Country in Jail

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Though it is now history but it still doesn’t cease to amaze and awe me how some solo human beings were able grab oceans of injustice and flip them over for a better today and tomorrow. The only things that we as learners of leadership can look into are incidents of their lives and hope to get a glimpse of the power and spiritual structures of these giants. Here’s a peep into Nelson Mandela’s mindset from my book, the HeART of STORY.

“After spending nearly three decades in jail, a tall gaunt man steps out and announces to the world, “I was talking to another inmate in prison and he claimed unhappiness at having been unjustly locked in. At that moment, I had this amazing realization that it wasn’t I who was jailed for almost 30 years but it was my country, my nation that had been in chains much, much longer. This was the truth and it is my mission to free my country.”

Every single day thereafter, until his death, Nelson “Madiba” Mandela travelled the world telling them the story of suffering, of sorrow, and of racial injustice until the world responded to the plight of 50 million South Africans.  He then went on to become that country’s president and to win the Nobel Peace Prize.  He remains a shining example of human rights activism.  During the last few decades of his life, as South Africans worked to heal and build their nation, Mandela’s mission became that of national storyteller.  He did not just talk the promoter’s talk.  He lived his talk, upholding the vision of everything that South Africa hoped to be. Without him weaving in the right values through repeated storytelling, his countrymen might not have gotten to know and love their nation as they do now.

These are powerful stories of influential leaders in their own fields and their ability to employ and leverage the power of authentic and heartfelt stories. Each of them promoted a different core Truth and exercised a unique style through various media, but every single one of them is a raconteur in his own right.”

I am glad you like that glimpse.

Friend and Author Ramon (Mon) Garcia feeding my ego.

Friend and Author Ramon (Mon) Garcia feeding my ego.

On September 2, in Yangon, Myanmar I will run a session on The Leader as a Storyteller for managers and leader-to-be at the Hospital Management Awards.

On Septemper 12, Mumbai, India I will run a session titled Change Your Stories, Change Your Lives targetted for people from all walks of lives who want to get a grab on what their aspirations are, what is currently happeneing in their lives and then maybe knead and mold their own futures.

If you bring me a hard copy of my book, the HeART of STORY, plus leave me a compliment on Amazon I promise to gift you with a copy of my Pit Bulls & Entrpreneurs which is also a fun book filled with powerful, motivating stories about successes in starting up running your own enterprises.

Have fun and I hope to see you!

 

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